January 1, 2011

Day 135…

The beginning of a new calendar year.  Pay attention, Laura.  Very warm black coffee just slid down my throat.  Through my sunroom windows I watch backyard bushes stir in an unseen breeze .  The heater next to me makes a chugging sound as it pushes out “63 degree” air.  Letters appear one by one on my computer monitor as my fingers press the keys.  My radar continues to spin, like a search light from the old airport tower.  What else?  What else?  I process the stimuli as it comes into my light.

I stop to pick up the coffee cup again.  The heat from the cup warms my perpetually cold fingers.  I breathe.  Actually I’ve been breathing this entire time, it’s only that my radar just consciously acknowledged it. 

I stop to consider what’s next.  I need to refill the birdfeeder, watch the Netflix movie, read the book I’m half way through.  I want to make the cabbage and black eyed peas I bought at the grocery store yesterday.  I want to spend time in the art room today, although at this moment I have no visualized project. 

These ramblings are like my morning pages.  Awarenesses.  Intentions.  Conscious note taking from the “radar tower.”  This centers me.  Begins my day with deliberate mindfulness.  I will continue to take notes on the stimuli around me, whether physically writing them down or just watching them pass through my consciousness.  I will also address each intention, not necessarily as I visualize it now, but in some form that I will recognize in time.

New Year’s Resolution:  To continue this morning practice.  To allow it to take me deeper and higher than I can now envision.  To trust the process.

Writing topic:  Resolutions


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